Haku in Hot Water
by Buri-kun
Summary: Haku and Zabuza disguise themselves heavily to restock on supplies in one of the villages. Their plan goes awry when a fashion designer mistakes Haku for a girl recruits him as a replacement model for two days. T for suggestive themes.


The pair walked quietly in through the gates, heavily disguised as husband and wife, the younger of the two walking with hands clasped demurely in front of him and the second towering over him, dressed nondescriptly as any one of the many travelers that passed through the gates every single day. Haku secretly let out a sigh of relief, rather glad that he had passed as a woman once again, dressed as he was in a patterned wraparound shirtdress, and heavily make-upped to resemble a fashion model. His tall, rather womanly figure made the disguise perfect. Zabuza inwardly remarked that he would not have recognized the model in front of him for Haku if he had not seen him apply the makeup himself.

Zabuza heard one of the guards say an uncouth remark about the model. Haku heard it as well, and, wishing to cement his identity as a shapely female in the guard's mind, let out a practiced, perfectly smothered giggle. The guard smiled back and turned back to his job. Zabuza was glad to see that the traveler he was posing as did not arouse suspicion, probably because of the 'wife' alongside him.

Playing the act perfectly, Haku found a stand on the side of the main thoroughfare that sold jewelry of a good quality. 'She' headed toward the stand and began examining the brooches and hairpins minutely. Expectantly, Haku turned back to Zabuza and asked, "Dear, would it be too much…if we were to…buy this pin?" Haku pointed at a long hairpin, adorned with an extremely tiny and delicate charm at the end. On closer examination, the charm was an angel with amber wings, perched upon a raindrop. The stall keeper grew flustered, eager to sell his pins.

"That color complements the color of your eyes, Miss."

Haku smiled gently and asked, "Ah, you think so? Thank you…" 'She' turned back to 'her' husband and acted shy. "Y—you had said that...for my birthday, we could go shopping…And this pin is wonderful…" Haku's voice cracked. 'She' raised one delicate, long-fingered hand and brushed her hair away from her face. Her 'husband' didn't reply, considering the idea.

"I- I understand. I'm sorry. Such a bauble isn't necessary…" Haku let go of the pin and pushed it back into its holder, eyes falling to the ground, dejected. The stall keeper blanched.

'Her' 'husband' took it back, though, fastening 'her' long hair behind her right ear. "You are right. It does suit you. Perhaps we should buy two." His eyes crinkled into a smile.

'Her' eyes widened happily and 'she' reached up to his midriff (the only place she could easily reach), giving him a loving hug like any other girlfriend would at getting an expensive present. "T-t-thank you…"

Zabuza brushed off the thanks and scooped out some money to pay the seller with. In the meanwhile, the man began wrapping the two pins in tissue paper and put the package in a narrow lacquered box. He bowed as he received the payment, humbly wishing the couple happiness on their journey.

Not long after, the couple restocked on the necessary supplies they needed from one of the shadier enterprises of the town, including weaponry and some of the rarer poisons and antidotes they kept in stock. All went as planned until the couple headed out to exit the city. They met a strange sight- a young man in tailored clothing was tearing about the crowd, asking various women if they had the time to spare for two evenings. Naturally, all of the women began avoiding him like the plague, unsure of the nature of his request. Haku waggled an eyebrow at Zabuza, silently requesting that he go closer to investigate. He received a tiny nod in return.

'She' wended her way towards the man, now looking rather mad and disheveled. "Sir?" Haku asked shyly. "What is the problem here? Are you in need of assistance?"

The man stared at her like he had never seen a female before. After a few moments, he jumped into the air happily and yelled, "YES! You're the one I'm looking for!" Haku acted like the weak female he was posing as and began to tremble, asking what he was wanted for, rather sure that it would be something illegal and nasty. 'She' made to flee back to the 'husband' waiting on the other side of the street.

"Wait! Where are you going? We need a model for this show, now that that one got sick!" He ran after her. 'She' halted in her tracks, asking, "A model? But I've never had any experience in such a field." He shook his head impatiently and led her away to a large storefront that dominated half the block. "It will be quite simple. For two days, we will be hosting a fashion show and you will be the replacement for one of our models. We will pay you handsomely, of course."

"I must tell my husband this… and discuss it...I'm sorry, one moment, please," Haku exclaimed breathlessly. 'She' ran out of the shop, privately cursing himself for getting involved. _However_, he thought, _this may be a good opportunity to earn a bit of extra gold. I mustn't do anything without Zabuza-sama, though._ He raced out of the shop to Zabuza, who was impatiently waiting around the corner. He quickly explained the situation and its potential pitfalls and rewards. Zabuza was angry, but restrained his voice to a low growl.

"Seeing as you foolishly promised…. Nothing we can do about it now. Any normal woman would jump at the chance. It would seem out of place if you ran now. Go. Tell him yes, but only for the next two days. Get the money and go, soon as we're done. I'll drop off the supplies in our agreed place and wait for you there."

Haku bowed, relieved that the decision didn't warrant a serious problem. He walked calmly back into the store and relayed the message to the storekeeper, who, as it turns out, was the main proprietor of the premier kunoichi clothing line, 'Parchment Lily." He wasn't really listening, instead griping about the lack of proper replacement models. He called someone on his cell phone, and shortly said to Haku, "A teacher will be with you in a while teaching you what you need to know. Be at the back of the studio at six o'clock, understood? Good. Oh, and if you want, your husband can come to the show as well. Just point him out to me." Haku looked rather taken aback at the sudden rudeness, but simply said, "Yes sir. Of course." She bowed and took her leave.

When she stepped outside, she was immediately met by a lanky teenager with fiery hair and a blonde with a horrid expression on her face, like she had smelled rancid manure. Judging from the tailored clothing and expensive jewelry, both were models for the shows. The blonde stepped out first and growled, "You'd better be gone by the end of the show, got it?" and turned away with a swagger, satisfied that the timid-looking woman staring at her was intimidated enough. Haku had hitched a look of puzzled distress upon his face that was apparently convincing enough to fool her. The second girl was not quite so brief. As soon as the blonde was out of earshot, she profusely apologized for her behavior, putting it down as jealousy that a new girl would get in so easily. She introduced herself as 'Hitomi' and invited Haku to her apartment for the show.

Haku found this very convenient, as he had not thought to bring money. "Are-are you sure? I do not want to be a burden…" 'She' wrinkled her brow.

Hitomi reassured her that it wasn't, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I've always wanted a roommate, but wasn't allowed one that wasn't mean and snipey. And plus, Designer- sensei told me to look after you."

Haku was immediately on the alert. Such kindness on meeting usually did not bode well for any relationship. In all of the previous relationships he'd briefly had, the kind ones were always the most conniving and black-hearted. The young one wanted something….At least, that was what his past experiences dictated.

With a shock, a thought occurred to Haku. Had the girl seen through the makeup? He had to make sure. Haku agreed to the arrangement for the two nights.

He waited for the teacher to arrive, stepping back into the cool store. The teacher turned out to be a rather young teenage boy, who went down to business immediately. "You are the replacement for the sick one, yes?"

Haku nodded in assent.

"Have you ever been in a fashion show? Or seen one, at least?"

Haku shook her head. "I've never watched television much...I'm sorry."

The boy was not put off, though. "Don't worry; everyone here's had a first time on the runway. Your role won't be any different from those of the other girls. You'll simply walk down the runway in the clothes provided, turn right (following the runway) and disappear through the hallway at the end. Both days. Quite simple. The walk is different from the normal gaits employed on the street. I'll demonstrate. Please mimic what I do. I think I know what outfits you'll be wearing, so just this single walk will suffice, as you…I believe?...are not staying." He took his position at the front of a long, raised stage and struck a pose with his hands on his hips. He began walking with long strides and bent knees, taking long strides with one foot directly in front of the other. At the bend he paused, jutting his hips out and throwing his hair back (which was rather long), and continued right, disappearing with a swagger behind the wall. He came back out and grinned. "Your turn."

Haku had studied him intently and clambered onto the stage, mimicking him perfectly, with shoulders back and pelvis slightly forward. Balancing on the balls of his feet was awkward, but he was quite used to walking at different gaits in their various disguises. At the turn, he flipped his hair over his shoulder and added an extra flourish before disappearing at the end.

He peeked out from the wall. 'Sensei, was that all right?"

The teacher looked stunned. "That was probably the first time somebody got it on their first try…C-can you do that again?" he asked, eyes wide. "You might be a good model in the future. Wait, this time, do it in your heels." He trotted over to a rack of shoes, bringing back a pair of platformed sandals with decorative stitching up the sides. He saw Haku's raised brows and interpreted his silence correctly. "Even though we may be a kunoichi line, the clothes are made for parties and the like. Not necessarily missions. That's for our other line, 'Kurogane Lily.' Now then, three more times and you're free to go."

Haku obediently did as he was told, pulling on the ludicrous sandals and strutting down the runway in an exact copy of his previous walk. After finishing, the teacher dismissed him and muttered, "Y' know, I'll talk to the Head and see if we can't get you a permanent place…"

"I'm sorry, but that won't be necessary. The Head said that two days is all that is required." Haku bowed and turned to leave. The redhead was sitting outside, and bounced up to meet him, pulling him by the hand to a nearby apartment complex and unlocking her apartment's door.

As soon as the black-haired now-model stepped into the apartment stepped into the apartment, he received a shock. The fiery-haired girl was performing hand signs for illusionary jutsu. He slipped his hands into his pockets and grasped the senbon. _Regrettable, but necessary. Zabuza-sama must not be endangered. As must my life, which I also hold rather dear._ However, his fears were unfounded. Instead of launching an attack, the girl had simply dispelled her own illusions. Standing in the place of the lanky 18-year-old was a much younger girl of about 11, the only features recognizable being the face and hair. Haku blinked.

"Well, come in. Want some tea? Put your stuff down in the bedroom on the right."

Haku deposited his bag onto the bed and went into the kitchen. The girl came out of her own rooms, dressed in black shorts and a huge wrinkled white t-shirt. "I'll make dinner. C'mon. I've never really had many people to talk to, so I wanna talk to you, 'kay?"

Haku rose to help with dinner but the child waved him back into his seat at the high table. Haku's curiosity got the better of him. "I'm sorry…" He began in his feminine voice.

The girl grunted in reply.

"Why are you working like this at such a young age? Shouldn't you be in school, studying?"

From his position directly behind the girl, he saw her back become more rigid and her hands shook slightly. He couldn't see her face, however. He thought she must have been angry, but when she turned around….

She was crying, great huge tears splashing down her front. The skillet behind her was starting to smoke, so he swiftly crossed the kitchen and removed the omelets, then scooped up the girl and hugging her like he imagined a mother would hug her child.

"What's wrong?"

That simple phrase broke down the girl's defenses and she sobbed into Haku's shoulder. Haku couldn't help but feel sorry for the child- he had a natural attraction to the weak and helpless that often prompted him to save injured animals and feed starving children on the road. The one point that he and Zabuza-sama had always disagreed on…Zabuza-sama did not want to waste food on those he thought were about to die, but Haku could not bring himself to walk past without at least a kind word.

When the girl started pouring out her story between gasps, Haku felt even more pity for her, though it was with a vague detachment that he processed the tale. Apparently the model he was to replace was this child's sister. The shop's owner allowed them their apartments and food on the conditions that they model for him and not receive payment. He full well knew that the illegal employment he was doing would get him in trouble if anyone found out, but who would? If the girls spilled the beans, they would get punished for way more than they were worth. They needed the lodging and food, because it was just them two without parents, and regular D- and C- ranked missions would not have sustained the both of them. This job gave them the bare necessities, at least. As for the reason why they weren't in school… the fact was that they had mastered the curriculum of the school long before their graduation, working in the long hours of the night after modeling. The man seemed to think he was doing them a favor, by giving him that much. But, now that the elder sister was sick, and her use done with, he planned to throw them onto the streets unless the younger girl did as her sister had done. Such a pattern of thought disgusted Haku.

Although he was unhappy for the child, he did nothing. Though his feelings were strong enough, he had a goal, which was to accompany Zabuza-sama through the journey. He had no intention of involving himself with others, however much he pitied them. And not only that…the girl seemed capable enough, if vulnerable…with the mastering of the school curriculum, she could get missions later on as a kunoichi as an addition to her modeling jobs, particularly in the intervals between seasons when there were no fashion shows. If she had mastered the curriculum early, then perhaps she would become a good kunoichi, quite possibly a _very_ good one at that. The girl would struggle through. The only thing nagging at him, then, was…

"What exactly is your sister sick with?"

The little girl's red eyes dropped to Haku's knees, on which she was sitting. "She's been starving herself to fit Sensei's ideal model. For the privilege of walking out onto the catwalk with him, she became anorexic and now her body's starting to give out."

Haku suspected as much. "She'll heal," he said quietly. And believed it. If the sister had the will of the girl in front of him, pulling through would not be a problem.

"Mmmmm. I hope." The two stayed in their positions while the child pulled herself together. After a decent interval of silence, she invited Haku back to eat.

"You must be starving. I hope the omelets are still alright."

"I'm used to simple foods…There is no need to worry."

They ate quietly and went to bed.

The next day passed without incident, with the girl and Haku sharing stories (all of them fabricated, on Haku's part) before the show, and the show went smoothly as well.

When Haku entered the studio through the back room, the lights and loud music were rather disconcerting. He got used to it quickly, though. He went over to the rack of clothes and pulled away the outfit labeled, 'Substitute'. He dashed into the changing rooms to pull it on, and looked at himself in the mirror. The outfit was a fitted pale grey top and pants, the former cropped to show a wonderfully toned midriff, and had huge bell sleeved tied back with midnight-blue straps and the bottom somewhat loose, decorated with stitched panels of various mythical creatures in blues and greens. He immediately noticed a problem. Haku buried his hands in his voluminous sleeves and performed hands signs, chanting under his breath. His face changed almost imperceptibly (but rendered it different from the 'Wanted' pictures in the square), and to anyone who had dared to try, they would have felt an illusory chest under the top. After he stepped out of the changing booth, someone had rudely seized him by the hair after a few second and dragged him over to a salon chair. This part was the most delicate of them all, and the most risky. If someone recognized the face, he would have a huge problem. Thankfully, the stylist didn't notice anything, and continued on with applying a thick layer of makeup to his face. A second one was piling his locks on the top of his head and yanking rather hard in haste. Haku involuntarily winced as the long, cruel pins dug into his scalp. The process was over in a few minutes, and he was shunted into a line, positioned 2nd to last. The blonde was behind him, but didn't try anything dirty, as the teacher from the night before was doing last minute inspections of the girls. When the show started, Haku relaxed his posture, waiting for his turn. When it came, the teacher nudged him, and hissed, "Go!"

Haku performed his part well, judging from the preoccupied smile of the teacher when he came back. "Good, good. Line back up, please for the final walk-on." Haku got back in the same order as before, with the makeup woman touching up a spot on her face. The teacher stood next to her, and said, "This is where everyone walks on in a loop, like before, bust without pause. Follow the back behind you." Haku obeyed. In a few minutes, he would be allowed to disappear, he hoped.

He did, slipping through a side entrance after changing back into another lacy dress, and making himself invisible to the people hanging around outside with cameras. It seemed that the show was a major event, for the streets were deserted, and there was a large crowd around the shop. He collapsed on the couch, rubbing his temples. After such a long time accustomed to near-silence in the forests, the blaring of so many people was somewhat unbearable. He didn't dispel the illusion, though. He had a feeling he'd be pulled back into the crowd soon.

The young girl burst into the room, beaming. "That was really good, Miss. Like a natural." Haku pulled a face.

"I've got a headache."

"I'll make some tea, then."

"Thanks."

"There's gonna be a party tonight. Do you feel like going?"

"No thanks. I think some sleep would be nice."

"Perfectly understandable. Boss says that we have to go to the one tomorrow, though."

Haku sighed. _More chance of discovery. Better play it safe._ "Yes sir."

The next day followed the same pattern as the day before, at least during the morning and shows. This time Haku's outfit was a baby blue turtle-necked tank top with a huge silky grey bow in the back, and a miniskirt of the same material, with slits on the sides. His footwear was a pair of dark grey boots with matching ribboned bows. Underneath was a pair of leggings, colored dark blue. Haku groaned. These kinds of clothes were not suited to his tastes, however feminine they might be. This time, his illusion extended across his whole body, and the face was again changed to the appearance of yesterday. The makeup and hair styling was just as painful as before, but Haku knew what to expect.

The show went in the same format as before. After the end, the Head of the show told them to prepare for a party for the press that would last from 9 in the evening to four in the morning. They would only be required to stay until midnight, though.

Back in the apartment, still wearing the illusion, Haku realized a problem. "Squirt?"

The girl replied with a noncommittal "Hmm?"

"I don't have anything to wear for the party…"

The child, who was on a bean-bag cushion, curled up and reading a jutsu scroll, leapt up, eyes aflame. "Why didn't you say so? Come on, you can wear something of mine!" She leapt over to her closet and surveyed Haku, standing in the doorway behind her. Haku put forth a well-practiced blush. The girl pulled an outfit out of the closet and laid it out on the bed. "Try it on."

Haku took the articles into his room, and pulled them on. Admittedly, they were much more to his tastes than the things in the show. The dress was a light grey satin, trimmed with hunter green, and gathered into an empire waist. A few crisp pleats came down the center front, and the length went to the ankle. The shoes were flat, and very comfortable. They matched the trim, and tied with ribbon so that they would stay on the foot. Along with the clothing came a set of earrings and a necklace, drop-shaped and iridescent. He turned around to find the girl sitting on top of the wardrobe. He was glad he didn't remove the illusion.

"I like it."

Haku smiled. "As do I. Are you sure about this?"

"Yep. You look totally cool. Just return it when you're done, 'kay?"

Haku nodded in assent. The girl returned to her scroll, and Haku pretended to nap, curled up on the couch in an overlarge T-shirt and pajama pants. At 7 o'clock, the young one shook him 'awake' and proceeded to get ready for the party.

"So what is it that we are supposed to be doing at the party, exactly?" Haku asked.

"Oh, nothing much…Eat, drink, dance, talk….blah blah…."

"Ah…dance with whom?"

"Whomever we like. Other models, boys…"

"I don't know how to dance…"

"Then you'll dance with me…I'll teach you."

"I am grateful."

The two applied their makeup and got dressed. Haku was very conscious that it was almost 9 o'clock. The two hurried to the meeting-place, a nearby dance club. The head was already there, waiting. Surprisingly enough, they were the first there. They waited in the back, waiting for the others to arrive. The Head motioned to Haku and told him that he would get paid once midnight struck, as that was the end of the mandatory time he had to be there. Haku bowed, grateful that he had only three hours to wait until he could get out of town.

Everyone arrived, and they were let in to the club. Inside, strobe lights flashed and music blared from the stage. Haku activated another jutsu, adjusting his eyesight to the darkened room and his ears to the blasting music to save his acute senses from damage. The Head gave them instructions to make good impressions to the press scattered throughout the room, and left with one of the models. The young girl, now back in her guise as a model, led Haku over to the adjacent areas, where there was a restaurant. She explained that everything was on the Head, as he had paid for everything beforehand. She ordered a dish of spaghetti and meatballs, and Haku ordered a steak and salad. They munched through their meals, while the girl inquired as to what Haku would do after tomorrow.

"I have a wedding to go to in the family. It occurs in several days, so I will be traveling to go there."

The young one didn't pry deeper.

Nearly an hour and a half had passed. There was still an hour and a half left. The pair wended their way onto the dance floor and Haku learned a bit about nightclub-dancing, which, as it turned out, was pretty freeform. As he seemed to enjoy himself, his senses were operating at a fever-pitch, searching out for any danger signs in the densely-packed crowd, seeing none. The pair danced for a half-hour, until two boys asked them to dance separately. Thankfully, they didn't move away for another half-hour. Haku breathed deeply. One half-hour left. 'She' begged the boy dancing with 'her' to give her a break, and 'she' wended her way over to the bar, ordering a drink. The boy didn't follow.

Haku lowered his gaze to the drink in hand, checking it for poison with a few muttered words. There didn't seem to be any traces. He pretended to drink and made the amount in the glass seemingly go down with another illusion, but set the glass down with caution. He mustn't allow his senses to cloud. Fifteen minutes. A reporter chose to sidle into the seat next to her, questioning her about the experience. Giving her canned answers, Haku was acutely aware of the time. Seven minutes. The reporter left with two minutes to go. Haku spotted the Head walking up the stairs to the observation deck, which was soundproofed against the noise below. Haku followed, aware that it could be a trap. His eyes and ears automatically adjusted to the change in atmosphere. Midnight.

Haku wended his way up the stairs, catching the Head silhouetted against the dark sky. Putting on his most feminine voice, he asked, "Sir? I'm sorry…I feel rather tired. May I have your permission to leave?"

He turned around. "Yeah. Go. Here's your cash." He threw a bag of money into Haku's hand.

"Are you sure you will not return to model?"

Haku replied with a firm, "Yes."

"Go."

"Goodbye." Haku took his leave, much more suspicious of this behavior than before. The sudden reversion from snappish, griping designer to tired old man was very suspect, especially after such a seemingly successful show. Then again, on closer inspection, the man looked to be in ill-health, something Haku's practiced eye could pick out, even in half-light.

He made his way to the apartment quickly, and nobody followed.

Once in, he grabbed the clothing he had worn upon his arrival and changed rapidly into it, folding the evening gown neatly and laying it on the girl's bed. The jewelry went on the dresser and shoes at the foot of the bed. He took his packed bag and slung it over his shoulder. The last thing he did was to obliterate all of the fingerprints he had left. Opening the doors wouldn't be a problem- he could hide his fingertips in his sleeves.

_No need to say goodbye._ He stepped out of the apartment and left the city without incident, surprisingly enough, sending several shadow clones in multiple directions to confuse anyone who planned to go after him. None of them were attacked. Suspicious, but he was rather confident in his abilities. Everything passed without incident.

As soon as he was out of sight of the guard towers, he disappeared in a puff of smoke- completely untraceable. He appeared in a small clearing 200 miles to the north of the town, where Zabuza was waiting for him. Haku waited for Zabuza to approach him- they had a procedure to check for imposters and such. Each took several drops of blood from the arms of the other, depositing it in small gadgets that looked like palm-sized computers. They had 'picked it up' in a village that led much scientific advancement. Two minutes passed, and the computers beeped and flashed green. They were somewhat safe.

Haku threw the money-pouch at Zabuza, who caught it and tore it open, revealing about 700 gold coins. He grunted and picked up with own bag, pouring the money into a side pocket. Haku sagged against a tree and commented, "Zabuza-sama, I'm not sure that such a life as that is for me…I had to act like a twittery female, and it had grated upon my nerves." Zabuza gave a noncommittal grunt and began packing. "But you know…I would rather like those hairpins…"

Zabuza threw the lacquered box at Haku impatiently, who twisted his hair up in a bun at the nape of his neck. Cheerfully, Haku exclaimed, "Now I can walk around without my hair in my eyes!" He smiled brilliantly at Zabuza, who attempted to look stony-faced but nonetheless had a slight twitch to the lip.

They continued on their journey after obliterating all traces of their having been there, shouldering their packs once more to continue the never-ending journey…that would never end until death.


End file.
